6th Sunday in Easter

In Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing, much of the comedy revolves around the relationship between Benedick and Beatrice, who use their razor sharp wits to duel with one another in a game of brinkmanship that becomes increasingly acerbic and antagonistic as the play progresses. Despite their outward antagonism, their friends are convinced that they are made for one another and conspire to transform the passion of their antagonism into a passion of romance. Benedick’s friends achieve this end by convincing Benedick that Beatrice is secretly in love with him. Beatrice’s friends for their part, deceive Beatrice into thinking that Benedick is secretly pining for her. Consequently, Benedick and Beatrice lower their defenses and actually fall in love with one another, each falsely convinced that they are merely responding to a far deeper and desperate love in the other. Had they actually waited for someone to make the first move, perhaps nothing would ever have happened between them, and they would have passed each other by, like two ships in the night, oblivious to potential of love between them.

In today’s gospel, Jesus invites us to love one another as he has loved us. The way that Jesus loves us is to take the initiative, and to risk himself by making the first move. We often make the defining characteristic of God’s love as being unconditional, but perhaps what is even more important about God’s love for us is that it is always God who makes the first move. So when Jesus invites us to love one another as he has loved us, perhaps what he is most of all inviting us to do is to make the first move, and take the risk of love. A clever trick by their friends convinced Beatrice and Benedick that the other had already made the first move, a trick that unlocked the joy and fulfilment of mutual love. In the real world, however, life does not work out that neatly, and usually someone has to take the risk of making the first move. But, if we think about it, we don’t need a clever trick, for we have something far greater. We have the love of Jesus, who has loved us first and given us the key to happiness – to love as he loved. He tells us in today’s gospel that he given us this commandment so that his joy may be in us.

One of the longest studies of Adult Development ever conducted, lasting over 80 years in all, tracks the development of a group of 268 sophomores from Harvard in the year 1938 right up to the present day. One of the key questions that the study addresses is the factors that influence an individual’s happiness. The startling discovery made by the researches is that the over-riding factor that determines a person’s happiness is not the wealth they have amassed or the prestige of their career, but rather their relationships with other people and now close and intimate these relationships are. Put more simply, what determines a person’s happiness is the simple question: how do they love others? Have their risked themselves in making the first move, have they followed Jesus’ example in laying down their lives for the sake of others?

There is a story told of a very poor man who lived with his wife. One day, his wife, who had very long hair asked him to buy her a comb for her hair to grow well and to be well-groomed. Rather embarrassed, the man had to explain to his wife that he could not afford to buy her a comb, and that he didn’t even have enough money to fix the strap of his watch he had just broken. The man went to work and passed by a watch shop, sold his damaged watch at a low price and went to buy a comb for his wife. He came home in the evening with the comb in his hand ready to give to his wife. He was surprised when he saw his wife with a very short haircut. She had sold her hair and was holding a new watch band. Tears flowed simultaneously from their eyes, not for the futility of their actions, but for the reciprocity of their love. When each of us takes the risk of making the first move, there is a beauty that brings great joy, even if that beauty is sometimes futile. In fact, part of the value of art and beauty derives precisely from it’s non-utilitarian nature. “Art for art’s sake” is the adage that encapsulates this philosophy. We might coin a phrase “love for love’s sake” as being the philosophy of Jesus. Too often we avoid taking the risk of making the first move, because we are afraid that we will land up with egg on our face. Jesus’ example encourages to “go for it” anyway and launch into love without overthinking it, knowing that this is what will bring us his joy and make our joy complete.

Questions for reflection

1. When was the last time I took the risk of love, and made the first move? Where is God calling me now to make the first move?
2. What value do I attach to my relationships with others?
3. Are there people in my life who have mentored me in what it means to love as Christ loves, who have showed me the example of taking the risk of love?