5th Sunday in Ordinary Time

Perhaps some of you have come across the new series on Jesus’ life called “The Chosen.” It takes the story of the gospel and fills it out, giving character and depth to those who play cameo roles in the gospels like Nicodemus, Mary of Magdala and Matthew the tax collector. One of the characters who is given a fair amount of attention in the series is that of Peter. He is portrayed as impulsive and boyish, dreaming big and making deals that often go pear-shaped, dragging him and his associates down into debt. Ever the optimist, he always has a plan to get out of the scrapes that he has created and is able to charm his way out of most of his problems. The people around him, his wife, brothers and business associates want to believe in him and his hair-brained schemes, often against their better judgement. Just before he meets Jesus, Peter is in one of the worst scrapes he has found himself to date, and try though he may to charm his way out of the huge tax debt he owes the Romans, he just cannot seem to come up with the goods and risks losing everything. The night before he meets Jesus, he goes out for his last fishing trip: the stakes are that high: either he makes the catch of his life on this night, or he will almost certainly lose his boat and with it, his livelihood. Though he labours hard through the night, the fish simply don’t bite, and come the next morning he is a weary and beaten man. As he pulls into shore, he finds Jesus preaching to a group of his followers who have gathered about him.

In Peter’s mind Jesus was just another one of these itinerant prophets and preachers who were popping up all over the place in ancient Palestine in the first century, some of them even claiming to be the Messiah – all of them pedaling some new philosophy that would change everything. These itinerant preachers had to depend on their disciples for financial support. At a time when the life of the vast majority of the people in ancient Palestine was lived on the edge of poverty, the likes of Peter must have deeply resented such imposters sponging off the already over-burdened and over-taxed populace. Peter had seen and heard it all – imagine him as something of a cynic – he has seen them come and go – such prophets popping up – only to be eliminated by Rome. For Peter, Jesus was just the flavor of the month, in a short while, he too would be gone. Peter was not always this cynical, he like many other Jews of his time had held out hope for the Messiah, for the promise of God that would change everything and inject new hope into the lives of a dejected and overburdened people. But with Peter’s mounting debt problems and his run-ins with the Roman authorities, he had decided that his survival was more important than his faith. So he broke the cardinal rule and started working on the Sabbath, what’s more he decides to collaborate with the Romans in order to save his own skin by agreeing to help them catch tax evaders. He uses the gift of his charm and charisma to strike a deal with the Devil in order to stave of certain economic doom. The deal goes sour and now Peter is caught between the devil and the deep blue sea, and it’s at this darkest moment that Jesus walks into Peter’s life.

As Peter lands his boat, the crowd that Jesus is preaching to veers dangerously close to where he is sitting on the shore cleaning his nets. Jesus then turns and looks at Peter and asks if he might use his boat – the crowd is pushing around him so much so that he is being pushed into the lake. Peter finds it all quite comical, but he is a reasonable guy and so he acquiesces to Jesus’ request – it is innocent enough – he is just asking if he can use his boat. It doesn’t mean that he has to listen to Jesus’ mumbo-jumbo. So he just sits there on the edge of his boat cleaning his net – getting on with his business. But then as Peter sits in his boat, he gradually gets caught up in what Jesus is saying, he realizes that this message is quite unlike the baloney that he had heard these other prophets spouting out. This sounds like it might have something to do with his life. When Jesus talks about not worrying about what he is to eat or what he is to wear – well he is constantly worrying about all that kind of stuff, how will he feed his family, will he catch enough fish? Suddenly Peter is caught up in what this man has to say – perhaps he is a prophet after all – his words are cutting straight to his heart. When the crowds have dispersed, Jesus now turns to him and says “throw your net out for a catch” – up till this point, Peter has been happy to go along with Jesus, but now Jesus is venturing to tell him how to do his job. He is a prophet not a fisherman – what does he know about my job. But Peter acquiesces – what the hell, he must say – I may as well give it a shot. When Peter throws down his nets – and suddenly overwhelmed by the great quantity of fish – the first thing he realizes is that this miracle has just saved him from economic doom. He will now have enough money to pay off the taxman and live to fight another day. He won’t have to give up his boat and he can carry on fishing.

But this joy is short-lived and he suddenly realizes the greater import of what has just happened. He is suddenly confronted by the fact that he is standing in the presence of a very holy man, and is first instinctual reaction is one of shame. He is ashamed of his own sinfulness: he had given up on God helping him out of his troubles, he had put his money troubles before his faith, and most of all he had given up on the Messiah, who is now literally standing before him having saved him from all of his financial troubles. What is most interesting for me is how meeting Jesus puts everything into perspective for Peter. Prior to meeting Jesus, giving up his boat would have seemed like the worst thing that could happen to him. Now having met Jesus, Peter is only too happy to give up his boat, leave fishing and join Jesus’ band of disciples.

I think this is how it is when we allow God to step into our lives. What we thought was so important to our happiness and survival fades into insignificance as God’s call to us gives us new perspective. This new perspective suddenly helps us to fit all the different pieces of our lives together in a way that didn’t seem possible before meeting Jesus. What meeting Jesus does for Peter is to open up a new horizon of hope. Peter realizes that heretofore, he has been wasting his gifts and putting them at the service of his own little schemes. His wife has been worried about him because she too has realized that he has been squandering his gift. But when Peter comes to tell her about Jesus’ call, even though it means that he will be away from her for long periods and that she will have to now fend for herself, she is delighted, because now finally she knows that the great talents she has always seen in her husband will now finally be put to their proper use. When we integrate God’s call into our lives, everything takes its proper place. The letter to the Ephesians contains a beautiful prayer: “I pray that God may enlighten your hearts that you may know the hope that God’s call holds for you” (Eph. 1:18).

But sometimes this hope is so overwhelming for us that we shy away from it, just like Isaiah and Peter by taking refuge in our sense of unworthiness and sinfulness. Paradoxically enough, such an attitude is not one of humility, but rather one of pride. Dwelling on our own unworthiness and sinfulness leads us to take the focus away from God’s power in us and rather puts it on our own miserable selves. True humility should lead us to realize that it is not all about us, but rather about the magnitude of God’s grace in us and what God can achieve even through poor sinful instruments such as ourselves. This is why one of the deepest experiences we can have as Christians is to know ourselves as sinners, forgiven and sent. It is this experience that lies at the heart of the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. It is this experience that is the wellspring of our Christian hope. The letter to the Ephesians contains a beautiful prayer: “I pray that God may enlighten your hearts that you may know the hope that God’s call holds for you” (Eph. 1:18). May we this day embrace this hope by heeding the call of God to us.

Questions for reflection:

1. There is a Shona proverb: Sango rinopa waneta: which roughly translates as “the forest will give game to the hunter when he on the verge of giving up.” Have I seen the hand of God in my life at the moment I have been on the verge of giving up?
2. Are my feelings of unworthiness of God’s call a source of grace or a source of desolation in my life?
3. What might the be the talents that God is calling me to put at the service of the Church and the Kingdom?