8th Sunday in Ordinary Time

The faults that we most condemn in others are actually the faults that we fear the most in ourselves. When I first heard this axiom, I laughed at it because it sounded so hypocritical. How can a person be so vociferous in condemning a fault in another person when they have that same fault. Surely they should have a bit of humility and realize that they should be the last person to try to correct a fault they have not even been able to overcome in themselves. Yet, after I first heard this axiom, and reflected on the people who irritate me the most, I came to recognize to my shock and amazement that it was true. It became clear to me that the people who irritated me the most were the people who were very similar to myself and what I resented in them were the weaknesses and sins that I most feared in myself. Judging and condemning these people for their pride and arrogance was my own way of trying to assert some measure of control over my own pride and arrogance that I was loathe to admit in myself.

Ultimately our criticism and judgements of others are often a misguided attempt to shore up our own sense of self that is constantly under threat from our own unacknowledged weaknesses and failures. This is why the person with similar failings to ourselves irks us so much. It is not so much the other person’s fault per se that irritates us, but rather how that fault reminds us of our own weakness that we have been repressing. Carl Jung, the father of modern psychoanalysis called this the fear of our shadow selves.

But long before Carl Jung advanced his theories of our shadow selves, Jesus had recognized and named this behaviour in today’s gospel. Jesus is not saying that we shouldn’t let the faults of others bother us or simply ignore them. It’s almost the opposite, Jesus is counselling us to a heightened awareness of what bothers us most in others. Our irritation at the faults of another should lead us to a moment of introspection and self-evaluation in order to unearth our own shadow selves and begin to do the necessary soul work of bringing them into the light of Christ. So far from letting such people get on our nerves and drive us round the bend, we should actually be grateful for their presence in our lives, because they can reflect back to us our shadow selves. As human beings we are skilled in the art of self-deception and are blind to our own faults so blind it becomes comical at times, like a person with a log in their eye. But it is only through confrontation with our own shadow selves that we come to any true possibility of growth.

It is only once we have taken the courage to tread the path of confronting our own demons that we will have sufficient light and compassion to accompany others in facing their own demons. This is what Jesus means by his image of the blind leading the blind. Until we have faced up to our own demons, we will have no idea of how hard it actually is and we will lack the compassion and humility needed to accompany another person through this process. Struggling with our own imperfections and addictions will make us realize how powerless we really are against them and how we are utterly dependent on God’s grace to overcome them. This process makes us humble and patient with ourselves, and patient with others in their own battle to overcome their own addictions. How do we come to a place where we can see well enough in order to confront another person about their own blind spots? What it really comes down to is compassion - we are healed of our blindness when we receive the grace of compassion. True compassion only comes about through doing battle with our own shadow selves. Because it is only an acknowledgement of our shadow selves that cures us of the self-righteous conviction that we are better than everyone else around us. This is the security of the false self that needs to be ripped out of us. As long as our interaction with other people is born out of the security of the false self, we will never be able to truly be people of compassion. The best we will be able to manage is pity and there is nothing so galling as someone trying to help you from a place of self-righteous pity.

The comical image of a person with a log is their eye is deliberate on Jesus’ part. Through the humour of this hyperbole, Jesus is encouraging us not to take ourselves too seriously and be able to laugh at ourselves and our faults. There is a sense in which we can come at our faults and weaknesses as one more task on our to-do list, something to be eradicated by brute will-power. If we approach our faults in this manner, we can be sure that we will become people who are very hard on themselves and judgemental of others. The discipline with which we effect our own self-improvement will carry over into uncompromisingly hard judgements of others. It is only when we are able to find the graciousness to be able to laugh at ourselves that we can be sure that we will have sufficient humour, grace and compassion to help others to confront their faults. No matter how loving our correction of another person may be, it will always bring tension. There is nothing like a bit of humour to disarm this tension and highlight the truth that our redemption lies not in our own hands but in Gods.

Questions for reflection

1. Do I build myself up by bringing others down?
2. Who are the people that irritate me the most and can I see myself in them?
3. When was the last time I laughed at myself?